My Boyfriend's Back!
by littlesaiyangirl
Summary: Songfic to one of my favorite oldies songs. Vegeta leaves on a training retreat and Yamcha tries to get Bulma back. Needless to say, it doesn't work. *WARNING* This is not for Yamcha fans!!!


My Boyfriend's Back **__**

My Boyfriend's Back

Disclaimer- I do not own Dragonball Z or any of its characters. The song "My Boyfriend's Back" is not mine either.

"Bye Vegeta, bye Trunks! See you in a few weeks!" said Bulma as she waved goodbye to her boyfriend and eight year-old son. Vegeta and Trunks were leaving on a training retreat, and wouldn't be back for awhile. Vegeta had told her to keep it a secret, that he was going on a training retreat and not leaving permanently. Bulma sighed as she watched the spaceship take off. What she didn't see was Yamcha standing in her front yard, also watching the ship leave.

That night, as she was reading one of her favorite books, the phone rang. "Hello? …Oh, Yamcha, hi. What's up? Is there anything wrong? …No, Yamcha, I'm sorry. I've made my decision, and I've made my plans for my life, and you just don't belong in those plans anymore. I told you I wanted for us to be friends. …It doesn't matter how many times you say please, I won't go out with you. I'm sorry, Yamcha, you just hurt me one too many times. …Bye." She hung up, shaking her head.

The next day, she thought she saw Yamcha watching her, but just shrugged and continued what she was doing. That night, right after dinner, the phone rang again. Bulma picked it up. "Hello? …Yamcha?! For the last time, NO! I won't go out with you!" He began to argue, so she just hung up. It continued like this for three weeks, and every night, Bulma said no and hung up on him.

One night, the phone rang again. She was about to give Yamcha a piece of her mind when a different voice came over the phone. "Bulma, hey it's me Krillin!" he said. Bulma breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, I thought it was Yamcha." Krillin laughed. "Nope. Listen I can't talk long, 18 is making me help her with dinner tonight. I wanted to invite you to a little reunion we're going to have at Master Roshi's." Bulma laughed, "Do you remember what happened the last time we had a reunion Krillin?" They both laughed. "I'll try to make it, Krillin." Krillin sighed, "Good. Then I'll see you there! Oh and Bulma I'm glad to hear that you and Yamcha got back together. Good luck! Bye!" Bulma's eyes got wide, "Krillin wait. KRILLIN!" Only silence. She slammed the receiver down.

A few days later, she was at the store when she saw 18 and Chi Chi in one of the aisles. She was about to approach them when she heard part of their conversation. "I can't believe she did it, I mean, she should have at least told Vegeta she wasn't interested in him anymore, instead of cheating on him." Said 18. Chi Chi nodded, "It's hard to believe that Bulma went back to Yamcha. They had a pretty bad breakup." The two women then continued on their way. Bulma turned on her heel and headed home, fuming. 

__

He went away, and you hung around,

And bothered me every night.

And when I wouldn't go out with you,

You said things

That weren't very nice.

Bulma was sitting in her lab wondering what she should do when the com for Vegeta's ship went off. Bulma answered it, "Vegeta? Oh Vegeta, thank goodness. Where are you?" He smirked, "Just entering your solar system. What's your problem? You look like you were just dragged through the hedge." He said, laughing.

Bulma took a deep breath and told him all that had passed in the last few weeks. As she told her story, she watched his face get redder and redder. "Vegeta, please don't believe anything he tells you. I didn't do any of that!" Vegeta shook his head, "I know you didn't. You're always talking about how much you hated him for what he did to you. When I get there, I'm going to make him set the record straight. If he calls again, go ahead and tell him that I'm coming back. Let him just try and hide from me."

__

My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble.

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

When you see him comin' better cut it on the double.

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

You've been spreading lies that I was untrue.

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

So look out now cuz he's comin' after you!

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

Yeah! He knows what you've been tryin',

And, he knows that you've been lyin'.

Bulma was sitting filing her nails one evening when the phone rang. "Hello?" she answered smoothly. "Yamcha, how nice to hear from you. …Oh, by the way, you know how Vegeta left? Well, he's on his way back. In fact, he should be getting here any minute!" There was a long pause on the line, then the sound of heavy breathing. He hung up. Bulma sat there, smiling.

__

He's been gone for such a long time. 

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

Now he's back and things will be fine.

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

You're gonna be sorry you were ever born.

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

Cuz he's kinda big and he's awful strong.

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

Yeah! He knows I wasn't cheatin',

Now, you're gonna get a beatin'.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. Bulma opened the door to find Yamcha standing there. "What do you want?" she said. Yamcha came in and shut the door behind him. "You don't really want him to come back do you? Admit it!" He leaned down and kissed her forcefully.

__

What made you think he'd believe all your lies?

Baoo, baoo,

You're a big man now, but he'll cut you down to size.

Baoo, Wait and see!

Bulma pushed him away. "Yamcha don't! I don't know what he'll do if he sees you…" She was cut off by another kiss, a deeper kiss. She didn't kiss him back. Yamcha stopped and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and she was looking at something behind him.

__

My boyfriend's back he's gonna save my reputation. 

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

If I were you I'd take a permanent vacation.

Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back!

Yamcha turned around and came face to face with a furious Vegeta. Yamcha started to shake. "Ve-Vegeta, y-you know I-I d-didn't m-mean it, r-right?" Vegeta grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him around the corner. Sounds of fists hitting flesh could be heard from around the corner. Then came sounds of pain emitting from Yamcha. Next was the sound of a very colorful string of curses coming from Vegeta. "IF YOU EVER TOUCH HER AGAIN, YOU'LL BE WISHING YOU WERE DEALING WITH FREEZA INSTEAD OF ME!!!"

__

Yeah! My boyfriend's back!

Well look out now! My boyfriend's back!

Well, I can see him comin' so you better get a runnin' right now!

"Alright, alright! I'm sorry!" he said. Vegeta kept punching. "DON'T TELL ME, IDIOT, TELL BULMA!" Yamcha started to whimper. "I'm sorry for lying Bulma! Just please, call him off!" Bulma scowled, "Only if you promise to call everyone and tell them the truth Yamcha!" Yamcha got away from Vegeta and got on his knees in front of Bulma, "Alright, I promise." Vegeta came over and gave him one swift kick in the rear. "And I'm going to watch you do it, RIGHT NOW!" Yamcha jumped up and made a beeline for the phone and began to dial.

A few days later, everything was back to normal. Yamcha had gotten a lot of crap from everyone about the lies he had told, but had paid it off doing different tasks for different people. Bulma was watching him do her yard work. She was lounging in a lawn chair and sipping lemonade. She sighed, "Life can be good!"

So what do you think? This idea came to me while I was making some chocolate chip cookies. I was listening to oldies when this song came on. Then it just hit me! Please review it only takes a second! ^o^


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